3 Boys and a ?

Now that have all of the lady fans of the Deanery's attention, let me say sorry, no pregnancy announcement here. The Union and the Company have not come to terms yet and there seems to be no sense of urgency in resolving the issues. (seeking intervention from the Government)
However since there was such a negative response about my "compliments" in not having girls I stand (actually I am sitting) before you today to defend myself.
Now first let me explain that I would not be able to present a case strong enough to win a jury of all women, at least not strong enough to get a conviction.
My case: a girl doesn't fit.

• A girl doesn't fit in the existing baby clothes we have.
• A girl doesn't fit in our dark colored car seat, blue stroller.
• A girl doesn't fit our targeted audience of Transformer and Hotwheel loving movie watchers.
• A girl doesn't fit our 3 bedroom house that has one room dedicated to the habits of our already demanding female, and another to the girl's would be brothers.
• A girl doesn't fit Mama's call of "com'on boys."
• A girl doesn't fit in a boy's peed on toilet seat that is probably up anyway.
• A girl doesn't fit at a table with three boys who eat spaghetti with their fingers.
• A girl doesn't fit in our non-screaming, punching family. (Don't get me wrong, we have whining, just not much screaming.)

OK, so you get the idea. It isn't that I am opposed to having a girl, I am opposed to having to get a bigger house to maintain a balanced life where the inmates are not overcrowded and the warden is happy with her prison system. I am opposed to buying all the girls clothes that are needed to make her "cute." I like have a queen and not worrying about a princess. Lastly, I remember in high school my friends used to say I was whooped, and there is no doubt that I would be whooped, I don't want to give them that chance to break out their imaginary whips and crack them again.

The Deanery rests it's case.

I'm Obnoxious and other complaints and compliments

I am annoying. I never take anything seriously. There is always a joke, something that shouldn't be said that is probably running through my head. Common sense has a better chance at beating Michael Phelps in the butterfly than prevailing in my head.
Not only do I use sarcasm, but I use sarcasm about my sarcasm. I'm funny.
I drive my wife crazy, I don't know how she deals with me, it would wear me out.
My oldest is turning into me, try having a straight conversation with him.
Mariah Carey is still in love with me after all these years, you might be fooled by her marriage, but I know it's all to make me jealous.
I can't dance, play music with any quality or speak well.
Every time I read, I fall asleep, and that is not just the scriptures.
I like Mt. Dew. I like Mt. Dew alot.
I can't spell.
I like bad movies- current shames- Step Up 2 and Don't back down.
I don't get to spend Saturday's with my boys.
I don't get to spend Sunday's with my boys.
I can't solve every one's problems.
Nana's house is up for sale and I can't afford to buy it.
I like rap music.
I am not a perfectionist. I could make my blogs so much better if I was willing to put the time in. I don't even proofread them. (obviously)
no patience
I don't like to plan.
I don't serve my God enough!
I am not the perfect father.
I am not smarter than you.

On the other hand, I do have some good qualities.
I don't have an exorbitant amount of friends, but if you are my friend good luck not being my friend later. I am like a good lost dog.
I care about people and their beliefs and views.
I still don't like Country Music in general. (you have to respect Lyle Lovett and Cash)
I think about my friends all the time.
I try to be the perfect father.
I can make people laugh even if sometimes it has to be at me.
I surround myself with people who are better than me so I can learn from them.
I married up.
I don't have any girls.
Mariah Carey still loves me and Celine Dion has no idea I am alive.
I know I can't be perfect, and understand that I need others.
I have 3 very different boys who make me laugh, cry, and work harder at work and church.
I am spontaneous and energetic.
I love when others achieve their dreams.
I love my wife and understand her eternal value in our relationship and my life.
I am not dumber than you- I believe everyone is brilliant about something, just got get the conversation on the right course.
I love to watch the British Parliament more than Congress. here here!
I want you to be happy, more than I want me to be happy.
I am blessed with great family and friends who deal with complaints and let me believe the compliments.

Don't Tell My Wife

Last night it rained and since the ground was damp I took a quick opportunity to kill some weeds. I used a metal rake and loosened all the dirt.

This morning I walked out to the car to get something and saw this. (see picture below)

Looks like we have a snake! I know my wife, she will think it is a rattlesnake or something crazy so, I took a picture with the measurement to see how big this snake must be. . .

Looks like it is about an inch. I guess the boys will need to listen to me and wear shoes when they go out. . .

good thing my boys are graced with their fathers head. . .

no snake can unlock his jaws that much! If snakes take over the world, we are Darwin's next species.

In-N-Out

Yes I know that this picture was posted on my wife's blog. Yes, I understand you don't get it, let me explain it to you.

In-N-Out is not only the best hamburgers for the dollar, it is a place for great memories. I can remember many a time hanging out with two of my best friends, Dan and Tim. We would hop in either their escort or if for some reason my Mustang actually worked, we would ride in it. We would head over and for about $5.00 we would order a 4x4 wild style, fries and in my case, a strawberry shake. We would sit around and shoot the breeze. Nothing particular, just whatever. Dan and I usually would strike up some kind of random conversation. It used to be he and I trying to talk Tim into whatever scheme we were concocting that night. As time went on and I became L.D.S. the tables turned a little, I became the invited rather than the inviter. Dan and I were persuasive together, and stubborn against one another, but we agree on In-N-Out.

When I go home, (still won't give up the idea that I am a Californian) we eat there. I was lucky enough to get to go in Vegas, and now visiting my in-laws in St. George won't be so bad since they have one too.

I believe the conversion of my wife to hamburgers from only chicken took place in an In-N-Out in Barstow. I was on vacation with her family and she whined that we couldn't go there. Luckily for her and our relationship she still liked me enough to do something I wanted. Now I am glad to say, she enjoys an In-N-Out just as much as the rest of us.

I guess to wrap it up, In-N-Out for you tastes just like a hamburger, for me it is a memory stirring, mouth watering piece of perfection.

My only request to In-N-Out, as a poor starved man, is that they stop selling the shirts! Every now and then a person comes walking a long with one on. My stomach screams every time, "Why do you love her more than me?" Of course it speaks of my wife, who insists that we not move to California and live like all the rest of the Californians who can't afford the house they live in, at least not for a hamburger.

P.S. I sometimes think I should cut off little Scotty from visiting rights to the cool cousins when he sends me his smug little face on a postcard to celebrate MY birthday. Good thing for him he has an In-N-Out down the street, probably with a view of the beach.

NPR nerd

One night while I was on a mission I was listening to someones Walkman, (predecessor to the Ipod, kiddos) I was listening to KBYU which played classical music. I loved classical music as a missionary it was so much better to me than any other kind of "inspirational" music. I had fallen asleep with the headphones on. Way into the middle of the missionary night at 11 P.M. I was awakened by someone talking, I was not cognisant enough to know what it was right off the bat. I listened and heard about a battle in some far off land, I didn't know what I had found, but I was in love. Of course since it was my mission, I knew it was something I would have to find when I got home.

I did, it was National Public Radio. It is so diverse and different than any other news program. I am so addicted that when it comes to leaving for work I know it will take 25 minutes to get there, but I know that if I leave that late I will miss the headlines, so I leave 5 minutes earlier. I also catch myself in "driveway moments" which are times when I have arrived at my destination and should be getting out of my car to enter my destination, but instead I am in my car listening to the end of the story.

As if listening to the news wasn't nerdy enough, I listen to shows like You Bet Your Garden, The Splendid Table, and Calling All Pets. (for the record, I hate gardening, don't do much cooking and am allergic to most pets, or at least that is the reason my wife says I can't have them when I ask for them.) Listening to them makes me think about other people who would like the show and I think I need to store this info until I can dump the info into their heads. I can't even listen to all of Car Talk without calling my father in-law. If you talk to me once a week, you usually hear, "I heard this story on NPR. . ." My favorite show besides the news is Fresh Air. They have interviews with actors, producers, singers and song writers.

I also laugh because it must be fair reporting because I get people on the Right who tell me, "I can't believe you listen to that liberal junk" and yet others who say, "I can't believe you listen to that Right-winged junk."

As if NPR knew I was writing this blog this morning they put an article on this morning on my way to work this morning they had two great articles, very diverse in subject and nature. Please follow the links and listen in. . .

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93218205


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93184407


I don't know about you, but how can you not enjoy these, the visual created in my mind of Nana or Grandma Dibb buttoning with one hand and unbuttoning with another, the other of Tyler, Evan, Martin and Stu all laughing with me about this poor man's name like it was something off David Letterman or the Simpson's.
No matter what, I am a confessed NPR nerd.
To end, I leave you yet another great item I found today, the song of the day. It is about one's memories and goes well with the memory telling theme of my blog.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93168927

My Proxy

I have not posted in a long time. Exuses are out there, but mostly just because I chose watching a movie instead of writing. Here is an unfinished blog that I found in my drafts that I think is fine to post to get me up and going again.

I live a fairly mundane life. I don't love my job, it is just a job not a dream. So every now and then when I am bored I think of you my proxies.



When I want to surf- Ty and Stu

When I want to have a meaninful conversation with someone who not only has to listen but paid to listen- Scooter

When I want to get lost in the city and then go and have a debate with my fellow thinkers, followed by a night booing the Yankees and then . . .- Evan

When I pretend I am doing the job I really want to do- Drew. (congrats again on the movie(s)deal.)

When I want to feel like I have it all under control- Michal

When I want to learn about our history or strike out artistic- Tara

When I feel loyal to something- Tim

When I want to be witty and loyal- Liz

When I want to be that guy who suffers through every lousy game my sucky basketball and baseball team plays but is cool and confident about himself enough to admit he still likes them and gets whooped by a 2 year old every night-"The Walker"

When I want to imagine that I am married to someone who would not only let me have one decent car with air conditioning, but over 100!- G'ma

When I want to pretend I have the best brother-in-law - Emily and Kimberlie

Now I know why I have adult ADD, you guys give me lots to think about, but in the end my luckiest proxy is- Wifey.

All Hail Breaks Loose

One of the best things about where I live is the climatic weather. You never know what the day is going to bring. When I checked the weather tonight before settling in for the nightly movie, the weatherman (who by the way is a celebrity around here) said there was little chance for storms in our area. About an hour ago I started to see lightening. Then I heard an unusual sound off in the distance. . .I listened closer and thought it sounded like heavier rain than usual. Then I heard a heavy thump on the roof. Pretty soon we were under fire. I figured my van would be a golf ball in the morning, with lots of dimples from the large hail. I decided to head outside to collect some of the larger pieces of hail but had to protect myself with my scooter helmet. My wife thinks that the photo of me in my helmet looks like I escaped from a mental hospital.