Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My Presidental cabinet

So I think I am going to start a write in campaign. . .for myself. If I win, here is what I purpose.

1. flat tax. abolish the code. a % across the board. Period, no deductions for kids, no deductions for charity, or write offs or bad investments. Nothing. If it's not enough raise it till we get it right.
2. Discuss socializing medicine. My little family with just one sick child spends over 10% of our income for medicine.
3. Double teachers salaries but hold them accountable and make the school year longer by 30 days!
4. Kill earmarks. A bill is a bill, in the old I'm just a bill song, you never saw little tiny bills running around singing chorus. Sorry congress, you are going to have to work a little more. Sessions in order.
5. No unilateral movements into other countries. What if all let California and New York make all the decisions. If we can't get France, Russia, Germany, Japan and China to agree, stay out. I would actually listen to the U.N.
6. I would invest in energy, clean energy. I would give 5 million start up funds to small companies to create new methods to get energy.


So those are my ideas. I also thought of some people to fill key cabinet positions.

1. Secretary of state- Nana. If other states don't behave, she won't use weapons that will kill them, she will just give them the "look." They will cower, you watch.
2. Secretary of Education- Michal. She will kill all the nonsense that keeps our schools from performing. I also have no doubt that she will let parents know when they are failing.
3. Secretary of finance. Alli. I have never met someone who is as frugal with their money. She could teach the Street a thing or two about proper investment.
4. Supreme Court appointments- Scott- he has proven to be level headed and just in his judgement. (judgement in College football teams excluded)
5. Homeland security- Dan. He doesn't trust anybody anyway.
6. Press Secretary- Grandpa Dibb- Somehow all conversations will turn to three topics, his cars, his golf game, and his childhood stories. (he would also be my special liaison with the auto industry, since he is their best customer, he can probably tell them a few things)
7. Ambassadors- My wife and her two sisters. At least I know the other countries will be communicated with daily via blogs, facebook and phone.
8. Vice President- This one was tough, but I think it would be Tara. Half the time her ideas are crazy, half the time they are right. I run about the same and since we disagree on everything, we will either be right 100% of the time or 100% wrong.

So Letterman, Leno, View girls, that octogenarian with the suspenders and the power grid behind him- let's get to the interviews. I promise I will leave you with some good soundbites!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Election 2008 and finacial crisis

Dear Boys, (all others, go visit the wife's blog-much less boring)

(my mood- good, background music- Waiting for the night to fall- Depeche Mode From the Album Violator)

In 7Th grade I found I liked history. It was sparked by a teacher who presented the Civil War in a way that I found fascinating. It was one of the rare times when I aced a subject. I remember that I got the highest score of all the students in all of the classes, I don't think I can say that happened too many other times.

At the time I lived with my Grandpa who was dying of Diabetes and the family favorite, alcohol. He used to sit and watch documentaries about wars and he served in WWII. I would pick his brain about all kinds of things. I have always wondered what it was like to live at points in time and through him, I could sometimes get a glimpse.

So with that thought in mind, I start a set of blogs on current events. I want you to know what "we" thought at the time of the event. I want you to have more than the one paragraph that we got in the history books to cover an event like the shooting of President Regan.

2008 has been a strange year. I remember telling Mom that we were headed for trouble on January 2ND because it seemed like all the fortune tellers on the business channels were creating a sense of self-fulfilling prophecy of doom. All you could hear was the housing market was going to crash this year. . .either those guys are genius, or they created their own mess. Naysayers have more power than you can ever imagine.

Our economy was already skidding. Our family watched our transportation costs go from $30.00 fill-ups to $80.00 and our part of the nation is cheap comparatively. Milk is now even more expensive than gas. It is $4.00. Those increased costs are just a small example of the inflation that we are experiencing right now. Most of that inflation is hidden since on the flip side, housing is going down so we don't hear much about inflation. Luckily again in our part of the country housing is under control is still seeing an increase. Forbes magazine recently ranked us as the #1 recession proof city in the nation. (we have a little bit of oil around here and housing costs are good)

My sector of work is in decline as demand for big ticket items is declining due to the lack of disposable income. We are looking at about a 10% decrease this year if we have a good year. It will all be about these next few months.

As a family, we are struggling. Cars need replacing and debt continues to increase. Extras are decreasing. I need you to know though, that we are the rich of the Earth. Keep that in mind, we have so much that others don't have. We are also in a better spot than many of our fellow Americans especially considering we live off of a single income.

So this brings me to the 2nd biggest story of the year, the elections. Aaahh the elections. I can't tell you how many great arguments (meant in the positive meaning of the word) I have had with great friends over politics. This year has been different. I feel like I am the only one that wonders what it is that these guys have that make them candidates for President. I have not seen these guys offer any options as to how they will change it anything, even though they all love the phrase. I want someone who is going to change things for real. I mean I want a flat tax for people and a flat tax for corporations. (I am OK with the flat tax for corporations being changed to be competitive)

I don't see things like this being done. I don't see real "arguments" taking place. Take the gloves off guys, but do it about policies not how many homes you have and who wears lipstick, human or otherwise.

One of the most frustrating things for me is the choice of McCain's running mate. I feel like I am the only one who sees her as a last chance grab by a losing party to make things different. She is a woman and I understand that it would be smart to go for a woman and try and get some of those votes. I think a woman could do just as good of a job if not better than the male. I just don't think this lady has it. One of my concerns with McCain is he is not that young. He has years of wisdom and has had many experiences that would make him valuable, but now that he has put an inexperienced women on the ticket, I worry she might have to take his spot before the term is over. I think the only experience Palin has with "foreign" policy is the lower 49 states. I could be wrong, but we vote on what we know.

Obama. Yikes. The guy is slick. I have a friend who believes he is the anti-Christ. He comes out of basically no where. Goes to Africa a few years back and gets huge national coverage for it. He is a press-magnet. Except for conservative talk show hosts, the press doesn't seem to say anything negative about him. His policies are vague. I think Biden was a good choice for him and draws me closer to even contemplating to vote for him.

It used to be that I voted for people based on their stands on moral issues. Some are still really important to me. I don't agree with Gay Marriage. I am religious, I believe in God and in God's laws and that goes against them, there is nothing else to it. I don't agree with the law not allowing them to share insurance as long as they show some sort of Union, like the rest of us. Marriage is a religious word and as such should be left that way. It is not personal. My friends who are gay know where I stand, they know I love them as people and we just agree to disagree on this issue.

I don't want these issues to be resolved by the Federal government. I want the states to solve this. If all the religious want to live in the mid-west and live their ideals, let them. If the populous states want to allow it, let them. If I don't agree, I can move and visa-versa.
That is my real concern. The government should worry about the things that affect the whole union. Health care, education (double what teachers make!! BUT hold them to the same level I get held to at work, perform or get out!!)

It has taken me a couple of days to finish this blog. Since I started the government has suggested a bail out of nearly 700 Billion dollars for the financial sector. I disagree strongly. I didn't see these sectors handing out money to tax payers when they were doing well. I think this should be about the homeowners. Yes many of them bought way outside their spending. (I don't live in Oklahoma because it is my dream, I live here because I can afford to.) The rest of the world is looking at the U.S like we are idiots. We preach a free capitalist economy until we screw it up. Then we let the rich off and charge it to the poor.
All right, all right, you get the point. I hope you read this text and we as a nation made the right choice. You be the judge.
Love, Dad

Monday, August 18, 2008

3 Boys and a ?

Now that have all of the lady fans of the Deanery's attention, let me say sorry, no pregnancy announcement here. The Union and the Company have not come to terms yet and there seems to be no sense of urgency in resolving the issues. (seeking intervention from the Government)
However since there was such a negative response about my "compliments" in not having girls I stand (actually I am sitting) before you today to defend myself.
Now first let me explain that I would not be able to present a case strong enough to win a jury of all women, at least not strong enough to get a conviction.
My case: a girl doesn't fit.
  • A girl doesn't fit in the existing baby clothes we have.
  • A girl doesn't fit in our dark colored car seat, blue stroller.
  • A girl doesn't fit our targeted audience of Transformer and Hotwheel loving movie watchers.
  • A girl doesn't fit our 3 bedroom house that has one room dedicated to the habits of our already demanding female, and another to the girl's would be brothers.
  • A girl doesn't fit Mama's call of "com'on boys."
  • A girl doesn't fit in a boy's peed on toilet seat that is probably up anyway.
  • A girl doesn't fit at a table with three boys who eat spaghetti with their fingers.
  • A girl doesn't fit in our non-screaming, punching family. (Don't get me wrong, we have whining, just not much screaming.)

OK, so you get the idea. It isn't that I am opposed to having a girl, I am opposed to having to get a bigger house to maintain a balanced life where the inmates are not overcrowded and the warden is happy with her prison system. I am opposed to buying all the girls clothes that are needed to make her "cute." I like have a queen and not worrying about a princess. Lastly, I remember in high school my friends used to say I was whooped, and there is no doubt that I would be whooped, I don't want to give them that chance to break out their imaginary whips and crack them again.

The Deanery rests it's case.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I'm Obnoxious and other complaints and compliments

I am annoying. I never take anything seriously. There is always a joke, something that shouldn't be said that is probably running through my head. Common sense has a better chance at beating Michael Phelps in the butterfly than prevailing in my head.
Not only do I use sarcasm, but I use sarcasm about my sarcasm. I'm funny.
I drive my wife crazy, I don't know how she deals with me, it would wear me out.
My oldest is turning into me, try having a straight conversation with him.
Mariah Carey is still in love with me after all these years, you might be fooled by her marriage, but I know it's all to make me jealous.
I can't dance, play music with any quality or speak well.
Every time I read, I fall asleep, and that is not just the scriptures.
I like Mt. Dew. I like Mt. Dew alot.
I can't spell.
I like bad movies- current shames- Step Up 2 and Don't back down.
I don't get to spend Saturday's with my boys.
I don't get to spend Sunday's with my boys.
I can't solve every one's problems.
Nana's house is up for sale and I can't afford to buy it.
I like rap music.
I am not a perfectionist. I could make my blogs so much better if I was willing to put the time in. I don't even proofread them. (obviously)
no patience
I don't like to plan.
I don't serve my God enough!
I am not the perfect father.
I am not smarter than you.

On the other hand, I do have some good qualities.
I don't have an exorbitant amount of friends, but if you are my friend good luck not being my friend later. I am like a good lost dog.
I care about people and their beliefs and views.
I still don't like Country Music in general. (you have to respect Lyle Lovett and Cash)
I think about my friends all the time.
I try to be the perfect father.
I can make people laugh even if sometimes it has to be at me.
I surround myself with people who are better than me so I can learn from them.
I married up.
I don't have any girls.
Mariah Carey still loves me and Celine Dion has no idea I am alive.
I know I can't be perfect, and understand that I need others.
I have 3 very different boys who make me laugh, cry, and work harder at work and church.
I am spontaneous and energetic.
I love when others achieve their dreams.
I love my wife and understand her eternal value in our relationship and my life.
I am not dumber than you- I believe everyone is brilliant about something, just got get the conversation on the right course.
I love to watch the British Parliament more than Congress. here here!
I want you to be happy, more than I want me to be happy.
I am blessed with great family and friends who deal with complaints and let me believe the compliments.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Don't Tell My Wife




Last night it rained and since the ground was damp I took a quick opportunity to kill some weeds. I used a metal rake and loosened all the dirt.
This morning I walked out to the car to get something and saw this. (see picture below)








Looks like we have a snake! I know my wife, she will think it is a rattlesnake or something crazy so, I took a picture with the measurement to see how big this snake must be. . .



Looks like it is about an inch. I guess the boys will need to listen to me and wear shoes when they go out. . .


good thing my boys are graced with their fathers head. . .


no snake can unlock his jaws that much! If snakes take over the world, we are Darwin's next species.




Sunday, August 3, 2008

In-N-Out

Yes I know that this picture was posted on my wife's blog. Yes, I understand you don't get it, let me explain it to you.


In-N-Out is not only the best hamburgers for the dollar, it is a place for great memories. I can remember many a time hanging out with two of my best friends, Dan and Tim. We would hop in either their escort or if for some reason my Mustang actually worked, we would ride in it. We would head over and for about $5.00 we would order a 4x4 wild style, fries and in my case, a strawberry shake. We would sit around and shoot the breeze. Nothing particular, just whatever. Dan and I usually would strike up some kind of random conversation. It used to be he and I trying to talk Tim into whatever scheme we were concocting that night. As time went on and I became L.D.S. the tables turned a little, I became the invited rather than the inviter. Dan and I were persuasive together, and stubborn against one another, but we agree on In-N-Out.


When I go home, (still won't give up the idea that I am a Californian) we eat there. I was lucky enough to get to go in Vegas, and now visiting my in-laws in St. George won't be so bad since they have one too.


I believe the conversion of my wife to hamburgers from only chicken took place in an In-N-Out in Barstow. I was on vacation with her family and she whined that we couldn't go there. Luckily for her and our relationship she still liked me enough to do something I wanted. Now I am glad to say, she enjoys an In-N-Out just as much as the rest of us.


I guess to wrap it up, In-N-Out for you tastes just like a hamburger, for me it is a memory stirring, mouth watering piece of perfection.


My only request to In-N-Out, as a poor starved man, is that they stop selling the shirts! Every now and then a person comes walking a long with one on. My stomach screams every time, "Why do you love her more than me?" Of course it speaks of my wife, who insists that we not move to California and live like all the rest of the Californians who can't afford the house they live in, at least not for a hamburger.


P.S. I sometimes think I should cut off little Scotty from visiting rights to the cool cousins when he sends me his smug little face on a postcard to celebrate MY birthday. Good thing for him he has an In-N-Out down the street, probably with a view of the beach.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

NPR nerd

One night while I was on a mission I was listening to someones Walkman, (predecessor to the Ipod, kiddos) I was listening to KBYU which played classical music. I loved classical music as a missionary it was so much better to me than any other kind of "inspirational" music. I had fallen asleep with the headphones on. Way into the middle of the missionary night at 11 P.M. I was awakened by someone talking, I was not cognisant enough to know what it was right off the bat. I listened and heard about a battle in some far off land, I didn't know what I had found, but I was in love. Of course since it was my mission, I knew it was something I would have to find when I got home.

I did, it was National Public Radio. It is so diverse and different than any other news program. I am so addicted that when it comes to leaving for work I know it will take 25 minutes to get there, but I know that if I leave that late I will miss the headlines, so I leave 5 minutes earlier. I also catch myself in "driveway moments" which are times when I have arrived at my destination and should be getting out of my car to enter my destination, but instead I am in my car listening to the end of the story.

As if listening to the news wasn't nerdy enough, I listen to shows like You Bet Your Garden, The Splendid Table, and Calling All Pets. (for the record, I hate gardening, don't do much cooking and am allergic to most pets, or at least that is the reason my wife says I can't have them when I ask for them.) Listening to them makes me think about other people who would like the show and I think I need to store this info until I can dump the info into their heads. I can't even listen to all of Car Talk without calling my father in-law. If you talk to me once a week, you usually hear, "I heard this story on NPR. . ." My favorite show besides the news is Fresh Air. They have interviews with actors, producers, singers and song writers.

I also laugh because it must be fair reporting because I get people on the Right who tell me, "I can't believe you listen to that liberal junk" and yet others who say, "I can't believe you listen to that Right-winged junk."

As if NPR knew I was writing this blog this morning they put an article on this morning on my way to work this morning they had two great articles, very diverse in subject and nature. Please follow the links and listen in. . .

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93218205


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93184407


I don't know about you, but how can you not enjoy these, the visual created in my mind of Nana or Grandma Dibb buttoning with one hand and unbuttoning with another, the other of Tyler, Evan, Martin and Stu all laughing with me about this poor man's name like it was something off David Letterman or the Simpson's.
No matter what, I am a confessed NPR nerd.
To end, I leave you yet another great item I found today, the song of the day. It is about one's memories and goes well with the memory telling theme of my blog.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93168927