Monday, August 20, 2007

Are you ready to Transform?

Cue Music: Love and Peace or Else- U2 How to dismantle an atomic bomb. "Lay down your guns, all you daughters of Zion, all you Abrahams sons. . .we need some love and peace."

So as promised, Monkey started 1st grade. The parking lot was busier than the lines outside my store on Black Friday. The kids were all there with their new tennies on. Flashback: I remember shopping for school. It was the best part of going back to school. There was basically two different versions of this activity. The first tradition involved my foster mom taking me to K-mart and getting whatever she wanted me to wear. More than anything I remember the first time I got shoes with velcro. Wow, what an experience, I don't know how many times I opened and closed those things my first couple of days in school to try and get attention to my suppossed coolness. I was no dummy either, I knew when was the best time to do it. (popularity is all about timing and style) It was when I got to be the class lead and the whole (ok, half) of the class was walking behind me. "Teacher, I need to stop my shoelaces are untied" (what else was I suppossed to say, I was in first grade) I would stop and turn toward the line and unvelcro my shoes, pull them tight and of course you never look at the class, you got to hide your coolness, that is part of being cool, not acting like it, velcro 'em back up.

Now there is one thing about K-mart I hate! As a matter of fact when they went bankrupt a few years back this was the first thing I thought, good, now there are no other children that will have to wear TOUGHSKINS!! I hate those pants. (Sorry Ms. Hannah, she always told us not to use the word Hate. "It is such a strong word," She would say, well it's because of that strong feeling that I reiterate, I hate toughskins. If you have never had the pleasure of wearing them know this. . .you can't destroy them. The knees were so reinforced with patches that you almost couldn't bend at the knee. The knees where so tough that when you ran, you looked like you where running on stilts. I sometimes wonder if those stunt guys who get dragged behind a car in the movies wear these pants. How was I supposed to get new jeans if I couldn't ruin the old ones.

The second version of school shopping was my mom would take us to the mall. Wow, a whole mall! We would get $100.00. You know the first thing I bought was Levi's. I don't even remember much else, just remember spending $20.00 on a pair of authentic Levis. This was sometime around 5th grade. I am sure my foster mom was better at creating the wardrobe with a limited amount of California tax payers money, but I had style now. I had no problem washing the pants every day to wear them the next.

Flashback over.

So standing there waiting with all the other children and their parents I am doing fine, no tears. Pretty proud too. Monkey is decked out in Transformer. Transformer backpack, with attached transformer lunchbox, wearing a Transformer shirt. (Optimus Prime shirt and backpack, BumbleBee lunch box) I wonder to myself how many other parents have taught their children to love Transformers like myself and notice there is a few. One kid had a bumblebee backpack, one kid had shoes. (character shoes are banned in our house, wifey rules, by the way, that is a blog all in itself) So I am content that my kid is in the cool group. Good thing I didn't go with that whole Barney thing I had planned for him. It was about a minute until they let us in when I saw the school poster board that had a picture of Optimus Prime and it said "are you ready to Transform" I lost it. I knew this was another chapter in his life, he was going to Transform by the end of the year he will have new friends, new favorite foods from the cafeteria, he might even get his first crush. (Mine in 1st grade was Dawn, little pure blond haired girl, loved her so much I switched seats with a kid to sit by her. She was great and my love was so strong I didn't even mock her when she peed in her chair and it dripped on the floor next to me. I just figured she was so excited to sit next to me, she literaly couldn't contain herself.

So anyway, I delivered the little guy to class and he pretty much shooed me off, "bye dad."

"Bye son", sniffle sniffle.

P.S. I have decided Monkey is going to work for a future President of the United States. The reason I believe this is because every time I pick him up from school and excitedly ask him what he did in school today, 9 out of 10 times he says "I don't really remember."

Fade out: Line'em up by James Taylor (A song about Nixon's last moments in the White House) 01LineEmUp.m4a

We all have dreams

This explains it all


**Liz** said...

Cute post! I'm going to drop Alex off for 1st grade in 2 hours. I already cried, twice. Glad to know i'm not alone.
Liz Stevenson

Tyler said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tyler said...

jeez mike! If I wore spectacles I would have had to get them out to read this thing. Don't they have bigger fonts? And are there supposed to be pictures mixed in or are the huge spaces causing my scrolling finger to cramp up there on purpose? What can i say? I'm a brother and you don't get away with much when you open yourself up to a Johnson.

E said...

Gotta agree with Tyler here about the scrolling thing. You know, you only have to hit "return" once to start a new paragraph.
Liam looks absolutely adorable. Congrats on raising a future White House star.

McD said...

Spacing fixed, fonts gonna have to wait.

Michal said...

we have a no character shoes policy at my house too! in fact, i am also anti character back packs and t-shirts unless they are pjs. i know, i am a stick in the mud. i'm always very careful to avoid those aisles at target with character clothes and shoes! my poor, deprived, but well dressed kids!:) go, wifey, go!
we started school today too. see my blog post for more details.

Allison said...

I wonder if velcro shoes are still as cool now as they were when they first came out. Kimball seemed pretty determined to get his first pair of non-velcro shoes this year for school. Although he thought the flashing lights were pretty cool.

Emily said...

No character shoes or clothes here either (unless we get a gift from the grandparents, then they have to be worn at least once). I almost cried when you talked about how much Monkey might "transform" in the next year. I know I have years to go until then, but you made me hope the time will never come. He did look so cute.

PMDahlgrenFamily said...

Hey-RobertsClan cousin, Megan here. I am a teacher and just went through the first day of kindergarten. I am a stickler and make moms and dads stay outside when I bring the kids in, so I miss out on all the tears on their part, but I am sure there are plenty. Hope that Monkey does well and enjoys school--if not, track that teacher down and see what's up

It is fun to read your blog--thanks for starting it! It will be fun to keep more in touch with your family.

Aunt Denise said...

That does explain it all!