Monday, April 28, 2008


Before Cindy, I scored my first girlfriend. It was in 4th grade, but for some strange reason I don't remember her name or her face. (so odd for me, not even a song- perhaps I made the experience up to boost my self confidence.)

I couldn't get the girl to commit to me but, I could get her to tell people that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I used basic logic to woo her into my trap. I told her that she qualified to be my girlfriend because she was my friend and she was a girl. Somehow, she went with it. Silly girls.

Now as for Cindy, she was a passionate firery red-head. I always had a small weakness for red-heads. Loved Cindy Lauper instead of Madonna, and was smitten by Molly Ringwald. This Cindy had small freckles on her cheekbones. (Kind like my wife has now,never linked the two before today.) I don't know what it was about her, and lucky enough, it was short lived. I would love to tell you it was a triumph, but I never was a good liar.

I pretend that I had self confidence with girls, but I never was smooth and usully not sucessful. Well, one day on the south end of the school after recess ended, I was standing on the wall trying to look cool. It was the first time in my life I felt, maybe I was. I had my hair feathered and combed like the blonde kid from Karate Kid. I had rolled pants, and suspenders, that of course just hung there. So I tryed to be smooth and put my foot up against the back wall and I had my hands to the side (I am not usually this descriptive, but it will make sense in the end) Anyway, I pronounce my admoration for said lady, and what does she do? Swoon, fall at my feet, blush. . .?

Oooh noo. I wasn't rad enough for her, she walked right up to me and kicked me in the hand.

So what did I learn from this relationship. I learned that standing there open like I was against the wall would be a great metaphor about leaving myself open to women. I also learned that while I thought I was cool she proved I was nothing but luke warm.

1 comment:

gma dibb said...

So sad. Hope it didn't take long to recover!