However since there was such a negative response about my "compliments" in not having girls I stand (actually I am sitting) before you today to defend myself.
Now first let me explain that I would not be able to present a case strong enough to win a jury of all women, at least not strong enough to get a conviction.
My case: a girl doesn't fit.
- A girl doesn't fit in the existing baby clothes we have.
- A girl doesn't fit in our dark colored car seat, blue stroller.
- A girl doesn't fit our targeted audience of Transformer and Hotwheel loving movie watchers.
- A girl doesn't fit our 3 bedroom house that has one room dedicated to the habits of our already demanding female, and another to the girl's would be brothers.
- A girl doesn't fit Mama's call of "com'on boys."
- A girl doesn't fit in a boy's peed on toilet seat that is probably up anyway.
- A girl doesn't fit at a table with three boys who eat spaghetti with their fingers.
- A girl doesn't fit in our non-screaming, punching family. (Don't get me wrong, we have whining, just not much screaming.)
OK, so you get the idea. It isn't that I am opposed to having a girl, I am opposed to having to get a bigger house to maintain a balanced life where the inmates are not overcrowded and the warden is happy with her prison system. I am opposed to buying all the girls clothes that are needed to make her "cute." I like have a queen and not worrying about a princess. Lastly, I remember in high school my friends used to say I was whooped, and there is no doubt that I would be whooped, I don't want to give them that chance to break out their imaginary whips and crack them again.
The Deanery rests it's case.