Monday, August 18, 2008

3 Boys and a ?

Now that have all of the lady fans of the Deanery's attention, let me say sorry, no pregnancy announcement here. The Union and the Company have not come to terms yet and there seems to be no sense of urgency in resolving the issues. (seeking intervention from the Government)
However since there was such a negative response about my "compliments" in not having girls I stand (actually I am sitting) before you today to defend myself.
Now first let me explain that I would not be able to present a case strong enough to win a jury of all women, at least not strong enough to get a conviction.
My case: a girl doesn't fit.
  • A girl doesn't fit in the existing baby clothes we have.
  • A girl doesn't fit in our dark colored car seat, blue stroller.
  • A girl doesn't fit our targeted audience of Transformer and Hotwheel loving movie watchers.
  • A girl doesn't fit our 3 bedroom house that has one room dedicated to the habits of our already demanding female, and another to the girl's would be brothers.
  • A girl doesn't fit Mama's call of "com'on boys."
  • A girl doesn't fit in a boy's peed on toilet seat that is probably up anyway.
  • A girl doesn't fit at a table with three boys who eat spaghetti with their fingers.
  • A girl doesn't fit in our non-screaming, punching family. (Don't get me wrong, we have whining, just not much screaming.)

OK, so you get the idea. It isn't that I am opposed to having a girl, I am opposed to having to get a bigger house to maintain a balanced life where the inmates are not overcrowded and the warden is happy with her prison system. I am opposed to buying all the girls clothes that are needed to make her "cute." I like have a queen and not worrying about a princess. Lastly, I remember in high school my friends used to say I was whooped, and there is no doubt that I would be whooped, I don't want to give them that chance to break out their imaginary whips and crack them again.

The Deanery rests it's case.

9 comments:

Emily said...

She would "fit" if she came, but I do see your point. (Although I still don't see it as a good thing about YOU that you don't have a girl.) But, watch out because now that you have in writing all the reasons you don't want a girl, you might just get one someday. :)

gma dibb said...

I see nothing wrong with girls using dark colored or blue carseats, etc. The queen could share her room with a princess, couldn't she??? I had three girls and somehow I KNOW they ate with their hands at some point in time. I just believe that the boys would somehow fall in love with a little sister as easily as a little brother! Does anyone get the idea I would love another granddaughter someday?

Liz said...

Dear Deanery.

All the jury has to say is this:

YOU KNOW YOU WOULD MAKE IT WORK, YOU WOULD LOVE THE WORK, AND YOU WOULD NEVER WANT TO IMAGINE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THE WORK.

Case closed.

liz

Big Morty said...

The Judge finds in favor of the defendant.

scrap chair potato said...

McD is right, I would not share my room with a princess, she could share with the princes. Yes, my scrap room is THAT important!
Besides, we won't have to worry about any of this for a VERY LONG TIME, if I have anything to say about it, and I think I do.
So sorry Gma, you might have to look elswhere for that granddaughter.
:)

McD said...

the girl don't fit, you must aquit!

Michal said...

oh, but our girl has brought balance to the force. she has brought out a side previously unseen in her three unruly brothers. she has softened her daddy (don't tell him--he'll never concur) and (i hope) will one day help her brothers from becoming complete barbarians because she is around. and wifey would have a blast acquiring cute girly things, even if she decided, as i have, that hand-me-downs from someone else can be the bulk of her wardrobe. (i'll bet you didn't know i had that in me, did you?:)
c'mon, you guys! let me mediate the conflict between the union and the company. i'm sure that we could come to an agreement!:)

Tara said...

For cryin' out loud mike - she wouldn't fit in to your transformer loving, hotwheel drivin' movie lovin' family - are you kidding me!? Way to perpetuate those rediculous sexual stereotypes. My favorite ways to "play" as a little kid, was to play with the boy next door, flooding the flower beds and drowning all of his army men. Give me a break. I think you are just scared that she would have you wrapped around her little finger soOo fast - you wouldn't have know what happened to you! :)

A Pendley said...

I say DITTO to Tara's comment and a loud AMEN!!!!!!!!